So this summer I’ve been trying to get back to eating low carb and failing miserably. And of course, since I’ve done it successfully before, for 4 years, very happily, I’ve found myself bouncing between Disappointed, Ashamed, Disgusted, and Depressed. Y’know, fun times. Since I discovered the 20lbs gain I made last year (due to wheat, my nemesis, and poverty, because wheat is cheap, and when you can’t afford eggs, you can certainly eat spaghetti with olive oil and garlic) I’ve just been in this cycle of…defeat. Defeat? Maybe that’s not the right word, but it will have to do.
I feel so out of control with my eating. I seem unable to make better choices when I have the opportunity. Frex, tonight I came home tired and hungry, and instead of making something to eat I opted for Ritz with cream cheese, waiting another couple of hours before heating up some leftover spaghetti sauce (not supposed to eat tomatoes, either), followed by watermelon, as that’s become my thing when it’s meltingly hot outside. I know the effect the wheat will have: exhaustion, poor sleep, bloat, early hunger, mild depression.
But I still ate it.
Haven’t gotten my ulcer taken care of, either (my doctor lives an hour away and I can’t bring the Chieftain with me, also have to coordinate with when I start work), and fatty things like dairy are owie. Have had to stop caffeine again as that became more owie, too. Ditto for alcohol, including old apple cider, for gods sake. I’m also out of the incredibly expensive vitamins that I apparently need as my face is beginning to explode with acne. Haven’t been drinking enough water, either.
No matter what I write, it feels like I’m making excuses. Yet I don’t think of lc-ing as a diet, if anything it’s very freeing. I can say ‘no’ to things and (most) people accept it. No bread, no problem! No tomatoes on your salad, happy to remove them. Dressing on the side, of course!
I love cooking, and lc requires a lot of cooking. A lot. Virtually every single meal, year round. I try to make a dollar stretch, so I tend to buy the cheaper cuts of meat (which are no longer really cheap, y’know?) and do a lot of slow-roasting*. That takes time. Mr Oro is very bad at putting things away, I’m actually surprised his food safety conciousness seems to be zero. He’ll happily eat something that’s been sitting on the stove overnight, or eat something from a jar that’s been refrigerated so long I can’t remember when it was originally opened. Which is my long winded way of saying he can’t be trusted to watch things while I’m at work.
I want to cook but I frequently don’t have the time, money, or energy to do so. I often don’t have the food, not even with the best planning and stretching of the dollar I can do. We have no refrigeration at work, and I hate bringing in meats that have to sit by hot computers all morning long.
Having said all that, I don’t understand why I can’t stick to lc-ing. I know it’s the best thing for me, I know how ‘easy’ lc-ing is, so why am I unable to stick to it???
I wish I understood it…
Oro out.
PS: zomfg I am so tired.
* roasted pork:
1) buy a rib end pork roast, preferably bone-in.
2) pat with salt and pepper
3) put in pan bone side down, preferably cast iron – frying pans work the best – or any pan with a dark interior
4) tuck garlic cloves around the roast, top with fresh sprigs or dried leaves of thyme, fresh sprig or a few dried leaves of rosemary
5) put in oven, roast for a minimum of 4hrs at 225F/107C (6-8 hrs at 200F/93C). A simple conversion is 50 minutes to the lb, plus 50 minutes. A 4 lbs roast will therefore take a minimum of 4 1/2 hours to cook, and to be safe(r), I’d roast for 5 hours. For the lower temps you can literally leave it all day and it will still be juicy.
6) when done, let stand 15 minutes, and then slice either between the ribs for massive chops or opposite the ribs, from what generally turns out to be the fattier end. The meat may be slightly pink, but should be hot and cooked all the way through (the cooked ping, not the raw transparent pink)
